Fedrick and his family took in several children who lost their parents in the 2010 earthquake that ravaged Haiti. We spent most late mornings with these children. Fedrick's story is amazing to hear, and one can see the handprints of God all over this home. HaitiAwake partnered with Fedrick this year in providing a home and support for the 13 children under this roof. The greatest opportunity the Graves family (the directors of HaitiAwake) has given to these children is the constant proclamation of the gospel and theological truths from God's Word. 

Joseph is the boy behind me. He had a very sore ear that was bothering him. After I put some neosporin on it, you would have thought I had healed every ache and pain in his body. He didn't leave my side after that. 

I found the verse "With food and raiment let us therewith be content" constantly running through my mind the week I was in Haiti. According to 1 Timothy 6:8, God naturally provides for His children as any father would do-with food and raiment. So the earthly possessions of food for today and clothes for today only prove to us that we have a loving God who keeps His promise to His children. It doesn't show whether God approves of our lives. So a question kept coming up-"God, how do I know if you are approving of my life or the lives of those around me?" I realized that my thinking process had become blurred and I had been looking for physical evidences of God's approval. 

God answered my question with the simplicity of His word as He directed my mind to Psalm 1,  1 Corinthians 13, and Galatians 5:22-23. When my roots are deeply planted into God's Word then I will be like a tree that "brings forth fruit in its season" and my spirit will not wither (Psalm 1:3). The appropriate fruit of the Spirit blooming in my heart, attitude, and actions at the appropriate time will be evidence that God countenance is shining in my life (Galatians 5:22-23). My love for others that resembles the love of God toward me (1 Corinthians 13). When the storms of life come and despite the tears, heartache, and struggles of faith in the soul, the soul still says "Lord, I so desperately want to trust and believe You. I want to exhibit You fruit because the fruit of my own sinful heart is evil. But, God, I have only a little faith, please help my unbelief!" As God hears the desperate cry of His child, He shows His approval of my dependence on Him by giving me the appropriate fruit in the appropriate season which in return points all who are watching back to God. 

Want to know if your life has God's smile of approval on it? When was the last time you faced a storm in dependence on God, and He gave you the appropriate fruit of the Spirit at the appropriate time so "your leaf did not wither" and the works of your hands prospered during the storm (Psalm 1) so others were encouraged and challenged by God shining through your tears and heartache? God's approval or disapproval in my life has nothing to do with where I was born or where I live, but everything to do with His fruit being manifested in my life. 

I worked alongside Haitian believers this summer whose fruit bears witness to the fact that God is smiling down on them. They are serving our God full-heartedly and God has not nor will He allow their leaf to wither and "whatsoever they do, He will and has prospered." 

So many lessons to learn from my brothers and sisters across the world. So grateful for the privilege of visiting these brothers and sisters and learning from them!!! 

Dear Mom, 

“The hand the rocks the cradle rules the world,” and you have done so much more than “just rock the cradle.” Mom, every person that your 5 children have encouraged, edified, challenged, and shared the gospel with was a soul that was directly impacted by you. 

Your ministry has been national and international. Because of your countless hours of sacrifice at home and hours of prayer, you have had a direct part in sharing the gospel with thousands of people in Utah; New York City; Phenix, Arizona; Indianapolis, Indiana; New Hampshire; and Maine as well as Zambia; Cameroon; Benin; Austria; the Marshall Islands; Haiti; Argentina; Albania; and Austria. Mom, God has allowed you to “rule” the world because of your faithfulness at home for a combined total of 164 years of parenting. (And you are still beautiful inside and out!)

Mom, one of my favorite phrases you have ever said to me is “Jenn, where there is a will there is a way.” I knew behind that phrase was the thought “because of God there is always a way.” In other words, don’t ever limit God! You have helped me to see hope because of the Giver of Hope when all my hope was gone. 

As your youngest daughter I now look at you with that fun grin of anticipation and say “Mom, let’s not limit God! Let’s see how many more souls you can touch through the faithful prayers, encouragement, and challenge you give your children and grandchildren in the years to come.” 

“Lord, you’ve been faithful through all these years. Through every joy and every tear. You’ve kept your promises, you’ll see us through. Now keep us faithful, Lord, to you.” (Song by Majesty Music)

Happy Birthday and Happy July 4th to my Mom-a woman unlike any other because of her faithfulness in the little things. 

Love you always,

Jenn 

Praise is a powerful evangelistic tool!! 

Look at what happens in Psalm 22 when David views his trials through the lens of who His God is. God gives him a gospel-centered praise to share with others in an evangelistic way. 

Vs 3 is powerful! "Yet you are holy, enthroned on the praises of Israel." Holy is the idea of set apart, separated by perfection. If the verse ended with the word "holy" this would be a very depressing verse; BUT in His separateness from all that is sinful, God has chosen to be near me in my praises of Him. In fact, God in His sovereignty, chooses to put Himself in His rightful position (the enthroned King of king) when I praise Him. He uses me and draws near me-a broken, sinful vessel-to accomplish His plans and will through my praises. 

But what happens when that praise is hard to give, when that praise is truly  a "sacrifice of praise" in that it is agonizing to say thank you for the broken family, the debt, the loss of a child, the broken friendship, a changed marital status, the loss of a job, the health diagnosis? Verses 25-26 are powerful!!! 

     "From you comes my praise in the great congregation."-He gives me the gift of praise      
      to turn around and give back to Him. So simple, yet not so easy right? 

     "The afflicted shall eat and be satisfied; those who seek him shall praise the Lord!"   
      Again, He provides the praise when we seek His face and claim His character in our    
      praise. All I do is claim His character and thank Him for it. 

Look at where this Psalm ends! Vs 31-When I praise my God He is put in His rightful position as King. He is lifted up. When those praises seem hard to find, He gives me the praise as I claim His character. Then He turns my praises around as an evangelistic tool to draw all men to Himself-even the unborn. "They shall come and proclaim his righteousness to a people yet unborn, that he has done it." Generations yet unborn will hear of our praises which will enable them to see God in His rightful place-enthroned as King of kings and will know that He has done "it." 

And the "it" is undefined in this verse-which is so encouraging. What is "it" that you need to see God do? Claim His character today and watch Him perform "it" while you simply share your praise of Him to those around you! 

Can we each live with a gospel-centered lifestyle today and draw all men we meet to Christ? YES!!! Simply through our praises of our God. 

Isaiah says "Lord, send me." You have been sent to your sphere of the world today, now share Christ with that corner of the world through your praise. See God work in the lives of those around you, in your life, and in unborn generations to come. What an amazing God we serve!

Hunt. Chase. Activity. Preoccupation.  Inclination. All these are synonyms for pursuit. 

For my 34th year of life, I am claiming the word "pursuit" as my focus. Pursuing God in my thoughts, time, and tongue. 



The Hunt of Pursuit:  
"You will seek me and find me, when you seek for me with all your heart." (Jeremiah 29:13)

Have you ever hunted for a lost contract or lost keys? I can see you smile as you read this. According to Jeremiah 29:13 this is how I should search after my God-I should make Him and the knowledge of Him the goal of my hunt. 

The Activity of Pursuit: 
"In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven" (Matthew 5:16)
 "Be still and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." (Psalm 46:10)

My life should reveal times of activity focused on the activities that God loves and that Christ was engaged in during His time on earth.  My life should also have regular times  times of stillness and quiet revealing my heart's dedication to know my God. Those watching my life should see through my time, thoughts, and tongue that the most important relationship in my life is that between me and my God. 

 The Preoccupation of Pursuit: 
"I will not let you go unless you bless me!" (Genesis 32:26). 
"For I decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and him crucified...so that your faith might not rest in the wisdom of man but in the power of God." (1 Corinthians 2:2, 5) 


The one area of my life that I desperately need to cultivate discontentment in is in my spiritual walk with God. I should be desperately seeking Him and His blessing in my life never content with the knowledge that I presently have. If only my life were completely preoccupied with Christ so that I would have no time to worry about the future, no time to ask why, no time to compare myself to others, and no time to want that which God, in His amazing sovereignty, has not given to me at this time. I want God to bless me with the knowledge of Him. I want to be so determined to know Him that I wrestle in my times with Him to understand Him in the deepest passages of Scriptures and to be like Him in the deepest part of who I am. 

"Lord, as I seek to keep my gaze on the cross, let my thoughts, time, and tongue be pursuing You and what You love at all times. You have given me another day to point others to You, may I not waste it on the trivial pursuits that so often times overshadow my relationship with You. And should I be writing again 365 days from now, may each period of 24-hours this coming year have ben spent pursuing You." 

My passage for the next 365 days: 

Psalm 84: 

1 How lovely is your dwelling place,
    O Lord of hosts!
2 My soul longs, yes, faints
    for the courts of the Lord;
my heart and flesh sing for joy
    to the living God.

3 Even the sparrow finds a home,
    and the swallow a nest for herself,
    where she may lay her young,
at your altars, O Lord of hosts,
    my King and my God.
4 Blessed are those who dwell in your house,
    ever singing your praise! Selah

5 Blessed are those whose strength is in you,
    in whose heart are the highways to Zion.
6 As they go through the Valley of Baca
    they make it a place of springs;
    the early rain also covers it with pools.
7 They go from strength to strength;
    each one appears before God in Zion.

8 O Lord God of hosts, hear my prayer;
    give ear, O God of Jacob! Selah
9 Behold our shield, O God;
    look on the face of your anointed!

10 For a day in your courts is better
    than a thousand elsewhere.
I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God
    than dwell in the tents of wickedness.
11 For the Lord God is a sun and shield;
    the Lord bestows favor and honor.
No good thing does he withhold
    from those who walk uprightly.
12 O Lord of hosts,
    blessed is the one who trusts in you!

Wow!!! What an amazing truth the Psalmist speaks of in Psalm 91:14!

Who is my God? Which of these names/character traits of our God do you find most endearing? 



God is my . . . . 

• Refuge
  
• Strength
  
• Wisdom
  
• Deliverer
  
• Hope
  
• Friend
  
• Savior
  
• Father
  
• I Am
  
• Provider
  
• Protector
  
• Fortress
  
• Stronghold
  
• Shepherd
  
• Guide
  
• Potter
  
• Master
  
• LORD
  
• Salvation
  
• Creator
  
• Healer
  
• Sustainer of my Faith
  
• Light of my Soul
  
• Completion of my Faith
  
• Light of the World
  
• Lover of My Soul
  

When you read through the book of Psalms and see all that God is and then read through the rest of your Bible and see those names and character traits lived out in God's care of His people, is it any wonder that Elizabeth C. Celphane penned the following words?
 
"I ask no other sunshine than the sunshine of His face. Content to let the world go by; to know no gain nor loss. My only shame, my sinful self. My glory-all His cross!" 

The stage has always intrigued me. A friend once treated me to a special visit backstage after a performance was over. I was able to see the most important part of the whole performance that night-the part that we rarely see-behind the scenes.

Ever wonder what God is doing when no one is watching. When everyone's attention is on the dramatic scene being played out in front of them, ever stop to think "What is God really doing behind all this?" Not asking in doubt, but true curiosity even though we know that as humans we will never be able to fully explain God's actions or the how behind a scene in our life. 

"In God's maze [of life], 'no' to one thing means 'yes' to another. 'No' in one direction is a clear indication of 'yes' in a different direction. 'No' to certain pursuits means 'yes' to others. With God as your guide, a 'no' is never the end; a negative is never permanent." ~Elizabeth Elliot in Loving God with all Your Mind. 

Psalm 37:7-"Be still before your God and wait patiently for Him." God is always at work, to bring about my good (Christlikeness) and His glory in my life in ways I cannot see. Wait here means to stand dumb, silent, hold my peace, quiet, be still. My God has no time limits. Trusting Him is not a feeling, it is an action of stillness when I want to rush ahead. 

Psalm 46:10 gives me a reason to wait when nothing seems to be happening to move along my will on the stage of my life..."Be still and now that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations. I will be exalted in the earth." The movie called life isn't over...the Director is still working, but His greatest work is often done behind the scenes. 

Thus Henry W. Baker can say...

"I am trusting Thee to guide me;
Thou alone shalt lead,
Ev'ry day and hour supplying
All my need.

I am trusting Thee for power;
Thine can never fail.
Words which Thou Thyself shalt give me
Must prevail.

I am trusting Thee, Lord Jesus;
Never let me fall.
I am trusting Thee forever
And for all."

Psalm 40:1, 3-4-"I waited patiently for the LORD; and He inclined unto me and heard my cry. And He hath put a new song in my mouth; even praise unto our God; man shall see it and fear, and shall trust in the LORD. Blessed is that man that maketh the LORD his trust, and respecteth not the proud, or such as turn aside to lies."

Lord, in my rush to get my will done, help me be humbly submissive to Your Will today. Help me to identify the lies that yell so many deceitful things my way and turn from these lies making You the focal point of my trust. For only then will others see not my life, but the amazing multifaceted God behind my life and will turn to You in faith.

The focus of a person's life can be defined as that which he gazes at for extended periods of time and ultimately defines him.

What do you gaze at for extended periods of time? Sports? Cars? Work? A hobby? A particular home? Economic status? Your children? Your spouse? Others? God's Word? A particular character trait of God?  

Elizabeth George, in her book Loving God with All Your Mind, talks about the focus of a woman's life. In her study guide, she lists characters of the Bible with Scripture passages and the following instructions: "What do you find most striking about the following individuals who pressed toward the finish in their journey of faith?" (p 223). 

Here are some of my thoughts from that exercise:

Abraham (Hebrews 11:8-16, 39)

• He didn't know physically where he was going, but he took one step at a time. He never wondered where he was headed spiritually.  His spiritual goal defined his life's physical direction. We see this today because we have history books to read.
• He never saw the fulfillment of several of God's specific promises to him.
• YET he finished his course in such a way that God was not ashamed to called his God.
  
• Summary: More often than not, I don't know where God is leading 2 steps down the path of my life; but I do know what the next right physical step is for today because it is the next step that brings me closer to the fulfillment of my life's goal. Not all of God's promises to me in Scripture are meant to be fulfilled in my life time or in a way that seems most logically  (in a human sense) to bring Him glory. Will I still "trust Him though He slay me" as Job did? Will I finish my course (whether I have one day or one week or one year or one decade left of my life's journey) in a such a way that God is not ashamed to be called Jenn's God? Is my life's goal so ingrained in my own mind and heart that even when I only have enough light for today's physical step, I step out in determination, confidence, and energy because I know spiritually where I am going-"toward the goal of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus?

Moses (Numbers 27:12-23, Deuteronomy 31:7-8)

• He ended up with a job he did not personally train for and  one he  definitely did not want. 
• Personal failure kept him from seeing the dreams of his own heart fulfilled.
• YET because he accepted the job that he didn't feel equipped for, he experienced God's enabling guidance and power in such a way he was a great encouragement to the next leader. 
• Summary: Much of my life is not what I would have chosen for myself if God had given me options. I don't feel qualified for much of what is on my plate each day. Do I rejoice in the fact that God's guidance and power have an even great opportunity to shine through my inadequacies so the watching world sees His beauty and is drawn to Him? Do I willing submit to those tasks and jobs I don't want knowing God is working out a far greater weight of glory-the salvation of souls and the further deepening of my own faith and character so He is glorified?

Samuel (I Samuel 8:1-5, 12:1, 23)

• His sons' disobedience was public and hurt his own ministry.
• His sons' disobedience seemingly lead to the nation's decision to disobey God.
• YET the disobedience of others and their sin against him only strengthened Samuel's resolve to focus on his life's goal. 
• Summary: Do I eagerly refuse to reflect on wrongs committed against me or the sins of those around me in order to stay focused on my life's goal? 

The words "life's goal" has continually appeared in the paragraph's above. One cannot be focused without such a goal. In the past 18 months I have spent time thinking about what I want written on my grave stone one day (this was a challenge from another devotional book I was reading). 

My life's goal is that my gaze would be always on the cross, that I would live for nothing more and die for nothing less. In defining this goal I know how a pair of binoculars to gaze through as I look at every day decisions, attitudes, and struggles. What will push me closer to the cross and cause others to love the Beloved One who gave His life for me? 

My objective under that goal for this upcoming school year is one word: FOCUS. Those attending the funerals of Abraham, Moses, and Samuel knew the focus of these men's lives was their beloved God. This school year I am asking myself the following: "Jenn, in this particular physical step you are taking on the job, in your housework, with your finances, and in your friendships are you personally focused and are you focusing others on the cross of Christ?

Life's verse: Acts 20:24
Year's verse: Philippians 3:12-21

When: Mother's Day, May 8, 2011
Where: My kitchen on 34B Church Street, Pembroke, NH
What: Acts 20:24 (ESV) "But I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God."
Why: After 8 months of soul-searching and major prioritizing in my life, I read the verse above. In the middle of my kitchen, I bowed my head. "Lord, I will stay in NH for 20 more years living in this apartment. I will teach middle school for the next 20 years and will deal with the fact I am unchallenged and will submit to the resulting boredom (I was busy 24/7, and loved teaching middle school!  But there was nothing challenging or stretching me in my life.) if that is what You want for me. I only want to walk the course (job) and fulfill the ministry You laid out for me before I was born. In doing all this I want to do it because it will bring You the most glory and point others to Your amazing love!" 
Unexpected Turn: Three days later on May 11, 2013 I was laid off due to finances at the Christian school in NH that I had been teaching at since graduating from college. Six weeks later I was dropping my parents and sister off at ILM airport in Wilmington, NC wondering if I would be able to find my way back to my new home without getting lost. 

Results: 
1. A website that has helped Christian educators and parents up and down the East Coast in finding resources and people as they move along their journey on this path called special education.
2. A bill presently being debated in the NC House of Representatives that will give financial relief to Christian parents across our state.
3. A growing network of parents, educators, government officials, administrators, speech therapists, doctors, and friends each with his/her own unique abilities and personality to bring to the table.
4. An opportunity to gain a much coveted special education license in the Orton-Gillingham reading method. 
5. An article in Wilmington Parent about dyslexia and promoting our Resource Program at WCA.
6. A multitude of opportunities to see God work inspite of me, my fears, my weaknesses, and my own lack of knowledge thus growing my love and dependence on Him. 

Extraordinary Expectations? Yes, I have experienced the truth of this phrase and the Biblical thoughts behind this title (explained on my home page) in so many ways in the last 24+ months of my life! 

Who is my God? He is the One Being who is able to do "above and beyond all I could ask or think" if I live out David's cry from Psalm 62:5 "my hope is in Him." Hope being another word for expectation in this verse. He is the Meeter of my Expectation, and today I have been amazed to rehearse all He has done in the last 24 months! 

Who is your God? 

It is 5:30AM, and the alarm is blaring. Stumbling out of bed, I grabbed my cell phone and in a state of fog managed to hit the right button. What just happened? In a matter of a few seconds I went from sleep to preparing for my 3o-minute workout with the sound of an alarm.

Job description of an alarm clock: to move one from a given activity to another in a matter of  seconds.  

A few weeks ago my oldest niece suddenly wrapped her arms around my neck and squeezed tightly. Someone snapped a picture, and now I have this moment-in-time captured digitally on my computer screen. This niece has lived in Benin, Cameroon, and is now in South Africa. Due to distance hugs from her come about every 3 to 4 years. Her hug that day ended my hurried activity and slowed my busy thoughts and turned my attention to her as a person and her needs. 

Time-sometimes it goes too slowly; other times I look at my calendar and realize I am 2 months behind and need to turn two pages. 24 hours a day, 60 minutes in each hour, 60 seconds in each hour. Everyone has the same amount of time each day. 

Have you ever noticed how quickly life can change? I have 3 friends who are going through life-changing circumstances. Soon all these friends will be miles away from me. We all agree that we haven't had enough time together in the last 2 years and soon what little time is left will be over. Where did the time go and how did it all change so quickly?

My first blog post this year was  an article entitled "This Moment Living." (See link below this post). As you consider living in the moment that God has given you right now, are there any alarms that life has sent your way to remind of you what is really important?

• A hug from a child that reminds you of the preciousness of the generation following us.
  
• A phone call from your best friend stating that he/she are moving out of state due to work.
• A news flash about a shooting in a rural school.
• A friend saying "I never see you any more!"
• A loved one who has been diagnosed with cancer. 
• A much needed hour of prayer and refocusing on the only source of reality-God's  Word. 

Lord, may today be spent touching the lives of those you put in my path. May my words, actions, and thoughts be centered on what is eternal-people, God's Word, and my relationship with You. 

Dear Mom, 

One of the neatest things about growing up is the relationship changes between child and parent. You are one of my closest friends. Through the years you have faithfully prayed, cheered, rebuked, and encouraged as only a true friend does.

I remember when you always had a snack waiting for us after school; started the family water fights; played basketball and wiffle ball with us; tucked us into bed; answered our questions late at night; kept us learning and growing during the summer months; had us spell misspelled words 10x each; made home fun and enjoyable- a haven; prayed for us before and after school and during the day; helped us with homework; encouraged us to stand-up to challenges and never go with the status-quo.

Today you answer the phone whenever it rings; send random texts, skype messages; and emails to make us smile; tell us when different things remind you of one of us; pray daily for each of us; tell us you can't wait for us to visit you at home; and tell us to follow God's leading even if it takes us miles away from you. 

Mom, you have showed us God's love, patience, and care. I Corinthians 13 describes the love you have daily lived out for many, many years within the walls of the home you and Dad created for us. 

You may not have taken the world by storm as so many woman desire to do, but you worked God's beauty into the corner of the world He gave you. And there are 5 adults in this world who will be forever grateful! 
 
Happy Birthday, Mom! and Happy July 4th :-)! 
Love you!
Jenn